In His Hand(s)

I've actually never blogged about this and wasn't sure if I ever really would. The only reason that I feeled compelled to now is because sometimes people just don't get it.

This past weekend Ollie and I went to a Christmas party at one of his golf buddy's houses. We got there a little late, so most of the guests where half in the bag by the time we arrived. As I was sitting at the kitchen table chatting with a few girls the wife of one of the golf buddies stumbled over to join in the converstation. She started telling us that she just became a grandmother and then went into how she was starting to work with special ed kids and that this always made her think of Olivia. What??

Olivia was born without her left hand. God may have left her without a hand, but the rest of her is fine, thank you.

Ollie and I found out at our 20 week ultrasound that we were having a baby girl. It was so exciting (altough I did ask Ollie if he was ok... he thought he wanted a boy)! But then the ultrasound tech started taking a really long time looking at one part of our baby. So at the end I asked her if everything was ok. She told us, "I don't think your baby has a left hand." I started to cry... actually it was more like a full blown sob. How? What? I don't understand. I remember saying so many times when people asked me if I wanted a boy or girl, my reply was always, "I don't care. Truthfully I want a healthy baby. 10 fingers. 10 toes."

She's not going to have 10 fingers? How people would treat her? Will other kids make fun of her? How would she tie her shoes or button her pants? Would she be able to play on the monkey bars? What if she wants to be a cheerleader like me or play golf like Ollie? I was beyond scared.

After hours of ultrasounds trying to figure out why or how this happened, specialists at CMC determined, "this is the way God made her." The doctors also told us her brain was "perfect" and that she had a "textbook" heart. They were right on all accounts.

Now that Olivia is here I feel silly about the questions and fears I had early on. She does everything. She is so inventive. We've yet to find a task that she can't do. I don't worry about the mokey bars any more... she hangs on her baby gate like a monkey now. I don't worry about the shoes... she can put her shoes on by herself and for now we'll stick with velcro. And remember she's not yet 18 months old.

The only worry that sometimes lingers in the back of my mind is how others will treat her. I will say that vast majority of people are so kind and so wonderful. And for those that don't get it... Here's the thing, parents of children that have some sort of differece don't need you to remind us that our child is different. We know. Ask questions. Just don't assume that because you see something that's not the norm that there must be other problems that you can't see.

I feel like I'm part of a members only club. The Lucky Parents Club. We were blessed with these amazing children that surprise us and inspire us daily. Things that most parents take for granted (a child picking up a book, feeding themselves, clapping their hand(s), etc.) we get to appreciate. My daughter has taught me to love the smallest gestures in life. I feel honored and so proud to be Livie's mother. I feel like God chose me, and he chose Ollie and he chose Olivia.